It's an absolute classic morning for opinions. Keep them coming.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) March 28, 2022
Man 1 makes inappropriate joke.
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) March 28, 2022
Man 2 responds inappropriately.
And that's my hot take on the whole thing.
I like to use the prepaid envelopes from junk mail to send the company other 'interesting' mail I receive, I have just sent a Screwfix catalogue to a PPI claim company.
— Fesshole 𧻠(@fesshole) March 28, 2022
Congratulations to Boris Johnson, who has just invented the concept of teaching https://t.co/rWIhGwf087
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 28, 2022
Last month I did the unthinkable and finally threw out that box of unloved cables that I've dragged with me through adulthood.
— Lemuel Lyes (@LemuelLyes) March 28, 2022
Today I realised that I needed one of them and have no idea how to find a replacement.
CONSIDER THIS A WARNING TO YOU ALL
To people criticising the inefficiency of the NHS; absolutely. It has been mismanaged, underfunded and underresourced by this government for 12 years.
— Dr Julia Grace Pattersonπ (@JujuliaGrace) March 28, 2022
Not doctors. Not nurses. Politicians.
I have a literal degree in the maths and Iβm looking at this like βyou know, it tracksβ https://t.co/7D32htIXXm
— Liz (@LizScott) December 19, 2021
24hrs after we hit the newstands. Private Eye always at least a day ahead of the news πππ pic.twitter.com/1UfJhy0bcn
— Tom Jamieson (@jamiesont) March 31, 2022
The story of Baxter π§΅
— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) March 30, 2022
3 years ago today I picked him up from a family who had ended up with an unplanned litter. He came home, met his mortal enemy (the cat), and began exploring the scene of his future apocalyptic assault on my home pic.twitter.com/EWfkPOP133
I admit to being more Mabel than Olive in my outlook this morning. pic.twitter.com/fn0Hnq5p5z
— Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) March 31, 2022
I deliberately make my husband a nice big drink before bed. That way I know he's going to get up in the night for a wee, and will also let the dog out for a wee. I stay in bed comfy and warm.
— Fesshole 𧻠(@fesshole) March 31, 2022
Journalist type people: is there a difference between βbreaks silenceβ and βsaysβ?
— Hugh Laurie (@hughlaurie) March 31, 2022
what is βBarryβ short for in England? Barold?
— Agnes (@agnesfrim) March 30, 2022
Feels like the lowest energy April Fool https://t.co/RCwuJy91yK
— Human Teapot (@TimBSpeaks) April 1, 2022
When we say βsale must end soonβ π₯΄
— ScS (@scssofas) March 31, 2022
"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.β -C.S. Lewis
— C. S. Lewis (@CSLewisDaily) April 1, 2022
I canβt be the only one who spent today knowing full well they were #AprilFoolsDay tweets but thinking βThatβs a good idea, someone should pitch that.β
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) April 1, 2022
Iβm thinking especially of the Gavin and Stacey prequel and the sandwich crisps
This you? @RishiSunak pic.twitter.com/qrSwH91KXa
— UK is with EU (@ukiswitheu) April 2, 2022
As the clocks go forward today we know next week will be a good one for our watch repair business. Twice a year we get a boost as customers dig out their old watches and clocks to alter the time, and often notice they need repairing. We donβt complain!
— James Timpson (@JamesTCobbler) March 27, 2022
Rishi sunak: mocking someone's alopecia is different from questioning the spouse of a senior minister's economic interests in Putin's Russia, something that clearly falls within the remit of the ministerial code. As you know, you chancer.
— John Harris (@johnharris1969) March 31, 2022
The Beano has just explained the ridiculousness of NFTβs in the simplest and most hilarious way.
— Simon Widdowson (@xannov) March 30, 2022
Itβs an absolutely brilliant put down. pic.twitter.com/yAKwagqnXR
The audience laughing away over the #partygate lies from Boris
— kerry βπSave Our NHS (@hewitson10) March 31, 2022
Victoria Derbyshire doing 10x the job of Fiona Bruce #bbcqt #questiontime #ToriesOut pic.twitter.com/z43v9lsMc8
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?